POOP!

Okay, well where do I begin...perhaps I shall start with the title of this post, poop. You read right my friends...poop.

Tuesday afternoon my human put me in my crate, turned on the fan and some music and left for work. I was in pretty good spirits when she left, I mean I was pretty tired and I got a treat. So being in my crate meant that I could eat and sleep without some human constantly petting me and kissing my head.

At about 6:30 pm my human received a call from my God human. Why you ask...well because I had a serious case of the runs! Like really bad. See I'm a pretty clean dog, I have a thing about pooping and peeing in spots that I will NEVER play in or NEVER sleep in. Needless to say, the crate is not where I do my business. I was plenty angry by the time my God human got home to spring me free. I had my poo all over me, all over my crate and all on the outside of my crate (I really tried hard not to poo on the inside). Anyway, so my God human was worried and tried to clean up the mess...when she came outside to check on me I kept poo-ing and well, I kinda poo-ed out some blood...well okay a lot of blood in each poo. She freaked out, which freaked me out...then it happened, she called my human!

Next thing I know, my human was at the door...she had that look on her face. You all know what look I'm talking about, the look of "you're going to the vet, you're going to get poked and prodded, and I'm about to pay a lot of money." Then she did the ONE thing I hate the most! She inspected my poo! What is with these humans and their obsession about poo? Then what does she do? SHE BAGS IT! It's bad enough that I had to spend the afternoon laying in the poo, but she was going to bring bags of it to the Vet with us, and she tells me that I do disgusting things?

I got to the vet and cried when we walked in so they would get me in faster. I feel that the faster I get in, the faster I get out. They pulled me to the back and asked my human a million questions while they felt around my belly, put a thermometer in my butt and then listened to my heart with this stethoscope thing that I tried really hard to eat...it touched me first, it pretty much invited me to eat it!

Anyway, who cares what I ate or if there were any changes in my environment! I just wanted someone to make the burning in my butt go away! By the way, I got weighed while I was there and I am now 67 pounds! The vet tried to freak out my human by saying all the things I could be sick with, then suggested all these different tests that could be done.

As soon as I heard "tests" I knew that meant my butt was going to have more troubles than just burning, so I shot my human the "I'm ready to go home look" and she just asked the vet what was necessary and what she would do for her own pet. The vet looked like she hadn't heard that before...so in all honesty she said that she wouldn't waste the money it would cost to test me at the hospital. She believed that I had Colitis, (upset Colin) I should be put on a bland diet and take some pills that will ease the swelling of my Colin. She also suggested a rectal exam...which I got...stupid human...I sniff her butt and she jumps, wait till she has to get a real rectal exam!

And I also got some fluid put under the scruff of my neck to keep my hydrated! I looked like a camel!

On the way out I met my new friend Gelato. He was at the ER because he got bit on the foot really bad. We were instant friends!

~Sigh~ When I got home I still wasn't feeling my 100% Awesomeness that is Bease...so I layed on the couch next to my human and told my hedgehog about my day...and my paranoid human.

Today, my butt is feeling better, and my human says that my poo is looking better. I don't even look at it, ones it hits the ground I'm outta there! That stuff stinks!

The good thing about being sick is that my human made me some chicken and rice, and today I got to eat some cottage cheese. I got little bits stuck in my fur...

Then, I got to chew on the container...

And my human wonders why my butt got sick...

Anyway, thanks to the chicken, rice and cottage cheese (my first taste of human food) I'm feeling much better. It doesn't hurt that my human loves on me and snuggles me when I'm nighmare-ing over the vet and the prodding.

Before I peace out, I want you all to know that if you stop by Chef's place you can vote on the best of the International Goody Exchange pictures! I know this all happened over a month ago, but it took the post office over a month just to get my package to my beloved friend Chef!!! You should all check it out! There are some awesome pictures of you all opening your presents and digging out the goods!!! So go get your vote on! Woohoo!

AAAANNNNND...I received this from my buddy Rambo!

He is one of my newest friends that I met on here! Make sure you all check him out and sniff out his space! Thanks so much for the Big Puffy Heart Rambo, you totally made my day! I would like to pass this along to Chef, Deetz, Faya and Willow! Those four always know what to say to bring a toothy grin to my face!

This is the now happily fuzzy butted Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that if you hear your humans say the word "Vet," make sure you look like you feel 110% at all cost! For the sake of your butts don't ever let them know you feel icky!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley