Thursday, April 30, 2009

I Love Grass!

Fellow four legged ones! I am here! Well, you know...I'm back.

I am all moved in! Yea! It was a bit of a rough week when we moved. I mean, my human was taking things apart (with these tool things that I was sure she didn't know how to use) and then putting them in my Bease mobile. Then!!!! The stoopid human had the audacity to leave me in the house by myself with most of my belongings gone! She took like 5 trips over to the new place and just left me behind!

Finally, she came back to the house - we ate, and then she loaded me up in the very crowded Bease mobile (she's lucky she rolled the window down for me or I would have for sure farted and killed everything around me) and took me to the new place. I'll have you know that I hated it! Lots of our stuff was thrown everywhere, but nothing of MINE was in the house! The nimrod of a human did not bring my very precious toys and chewies to entertain me!

While she unpacked boxes and put things back together I sniffed things out. I thought about peeing on the walls just to mark it as mine - but alas I remembered that I ought to use manners when entering a new place. So, I peed outside on the patio instead. I mean, I HAD to! Anything can get into a backyard, so I needed everything to know that the backyard was definitely mine! I mean, pretty much anything I touch is mine, but the backyard for sure does not belong to anyone else!

Since the human forgot my toys I found a rubber ball in the backyard that I got to kill!

The best part of this backyard is that I have grass! Yea! Like for real - dead grass, you know the straw-like grass that is great to roll in and bring inside!

Anyway, I was packed back into the Jeep (Bease mobile) and taken to the remainings of my home that I have known for over a year. While we were there I found this pottery thing that was like evil and stuff. Since I never really got to sniff that sucker out, I had to give it a nice and fuuurrrrocious echo-ey bark to show it who is boss. I've never liked pottery or big pots. I'm pretty sure that evil exists inside, it's always made me a bit nervous...

When the room was cleaned out, only my humans - ahem MY bed remained and it was put up against the wall. And wouldn't you know it...Linus decided to play king of the mattress!

He's lucky I didn't jump that high to get him of MY property! THEN!!! The human went to pack up all of my treats and stuff, but she had to leave to go get some tape, and when she came back there was a Linus in the box! In MY box!

Anyway, getting used to my new home has been a bit of an adjustment, but I think I'm starting to like it lots! I get to guard the yard...

Ooooo and I’ve also discovered that I really enjoy destroying sprinklers! Those things are awesome!

There’s always lots to be done in the back yard, so I make sure I spend a lot of time “on-duty” there…

And of course, I'm always working and on duty - I'm just tricky, I don’t really sleep...

While the pheasant is in the midst of being repaired, I was given the GOOSE! The goose is pretty awesome, I've almost killed his squeaker, but I like to leave the migrators in suspense...never knowing when their lost honk and fart will be! Muahahahahaha!

I got all sorts of awesome things when we moved - which of course made things a bit easier on me! I got a green gator that has no stuffing, but makes 2 different kinds of squeaking - which is awesome! I also got a purple duck with a squeaker and crinkly feet...uhhh some new shredfully awesome rope, a new rope ball, and a carrot!

I love that fricken carrot! We like to play "where's the carrot" in my house! My human will send a picture of my carrot in the random places that I leave it, then she sends it to my God Human (humans roommate) and she has to guess where I left it! Oooohhhhhh yea! It's a great game. Sometimes for fun I just like to squeak the sucker over and over - just to make sure the humans really are sleeping. If I hear a grunt or some other choice words, then I know they are faking sleep and I usually enter one of their rooms to serenade them to sleep with sweet squeaker awesomeness!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that if it's yours, then pee on it!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Weeeerrrrd Homies! Wicky Wicky! I have news! Not the best of news, but news none the less…okay so, ummm well, okay – uhhhh, alright I’m just going to say it okay – deep breathe – I’M MOVING!

GASP! I know right! Isn’t this one of the most depressing things you’ve ever heard?? I mean, I get depressed when the humans clean my house! To watch them put everything in a box is heart breaking.

I guess we aren’t moving too far this time, but I had to give my human the look anyway. You know the look I’m talking about…the look of pure and raw disgust. I don’t understand why the human has to be so nomadic.
I suppose the nice thing about moving is that my human has bought me some “transition toys.” YEA! I know quite understand what a transition has to do with new toys, but whatever! I’m totally in, if toys are involved.

The human already ruined the surprise of some of my toys. She came home with a pack of the migrating birds and she gave me the pheasant! This thing is awesome and a lot like the honkin’ fartin’ duck that Deetz gave me a long time ago!

I loved my pheasant a lot – a little too much! One morning his honkin’ fartin’ sounds just really got me all excited, and the next thing I knew his head had ‘sploded! Of course, this was a trastavegy and the human needed to know of the remains. I couldn’t stand to look.

So, I did what any spectacular Airedale would do, I woke my human up by sticking my glorious and huge schnozz in the her mouth! Twas one of the funniest looks I’ve ever seen from my human!

The good news is that my pheasant hasn’t died completely, only his head…so the human said she would try and sew him all up so he can live to ‘splode yet again some other day!


This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that if your humans ever make you do something you don’t wanna do – you make sure you get some sort of awesome new treat or toy. These humans owe us for everything we do for them anyway!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Gotti Has Arrived...

My fellow four legged buddies! My friend Gotti has found his way to the blogging community!

Go sniff him and all of his awesomeness out! He's a huge fan of anything fuzzy!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Sunday, April 12, 2009

His Gotti-ness!

Geetings oh furry ones! I would like to introduce you to my new buddy! Before I show you of the awesomeness that our playing brings, I would like to tell you all about him! Gotti is about a month younger than me and about 55 pounds. He was born in jail. Yes, you read it right my friends – he was sprung loose from the can about 4 months ago. He was born in jail because his mom was recued from an abusive home, and she was pregnant with sir Gotti!!!

Now, all of his siblings were adopted, but not he…he was waiting for the ultimate forever home! Thus, he was stuck in jail for over a year. Also, it was reported that he was too hyper for any other potential two leggeds. Supposedly, he is part Stratordshire Terrier (Pitt Bull) and Chow, but mostly he is just awesome! My human's friend adopted him and she is as crazy about him as my human is about me! So, of course that means that he is of Bease status!!!

Without further adieu I present to you the Gotti!

This is Mr. T-Bone signing out and reminding everyone that a good game of bitey face will cure any sadness that may ever present itself!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Thursday, April 2, 2009


So, we all know that I live in the desert, and I’m sure you all know what’s in the desert. First and foremost, there is dirt – the dirty kind of dirt…the best dirt, the kind of dirt that sticks to my fuzz and creates that magnificent smell of what the humans call “D-O-G”. Second, there are prickly things that my human NEVER lets me smell. You know – the pokey things, the uhhh cat-cusses errr cat-ci, whatever those things, you know what I’m talking about. I can’t completely describe what the darn thing is because the human won’t let me investigate it.

Anyway, I live in the desert…where some of these things live.

Yea! I viewed that sucker myself! The human got a picture of it while we were hiking, she let me smell the thing, but little dude crept back between the rocks…

BUT!!! I totally got to witness SNOW! Yea! It was this white stuff right, and I sunk in it, then I ran in it, and ate it and I peed and pooped in it, then I realized that there was no fence on the snow mountain – I WAS FREE!

My human found me some fellow square headed friends that I could play with in large quantities. Everyone is super awesome! Me, I don’t much care about the people. I mean, they talk to me and touch me – but to be honest, they don’t know how to play bitey face and they’re a bit too slow for my taste, most importantly though, they only have two legs. Anyway, on the first of March some of the Dales were going to meet up North in search of some snow. I was super excited because I had never heard of snow – I only know about dirt…

So, here I am!!! Ta Daaaaa! I loved the snow, I only wish we got to stay longer – I would make a good snow four legged human!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley reminding everyone that dirt + water = the best day ever!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley