New-Turd!

Hello all of my furry friends! As you all know...I received New-Turd yesterday. Thus far, I have seen no difference in any of my turds, though it does feel a little more difficult to get my old turds out. Coincidently, I am missing two little things about the size of marbles that used to be right by my butt. My human doesn't let me investigate. Everytime I try, I get this plastic cone put around my head, which makes me cry. Luckily, my human doesn't make me wear the cone very often since I've been so good.















Anyway, let me tell you all about my day at the vet, waiting for the New-Turd.

When I woke up Thursday morning it started as the best day ever! I slobbered all over my humans face, just to let her know that I was especially loving her! She appreciates jestures like that! Then, I moved onto Buddy for some good morning bitey face...











































Buddy was later put in his crate while my human leashed me up and took me for a ride in the car! It was awesome, the AC was on, the sun was out and music was playing! When we arrived to vet I saw a bunch of kitties that I couldn't wait to play with. They didn't seem particularly pleased to see me...I think they were just nervous about learning the art of bitey face.

Anyway, I was excited to see the vet and the nurses too! So, we went into an exam room and I got a thermometer in my butt, and they felt around my two little marbles...then they took me to the back room that I had never seen! I was so excited! It was time to see my New-Turd! I mean, so many thoughts were rushing through my head! Were the turds gonna be new colors? Would they have a new smell? Would the turds have the awesome ability to disappear after being expelled from my butt?

All I know is someone played with my arm for a bit, then I fell into a deep sleep and dreamnt of a New-Turd!!!

When I woke up, I first saw this...





























Then I realized that someone tampered with this...















Most importantly, I realized there was no sign of any new turds! Next, I came to the realization that my human had abandoned me in such a time of distress. Later, I found out why she left and what she was doing! Look what she did for me!!!
















































That's right! She cleaned all three of my beds, and even added more fluffing to my owl bed! It was soooo soft!

Even Buddy tested out the clean square bed. My human even pushed back his fuzz so you all could see his eyes...















Naturally, I too had to test them out to make sure she did a good job.





























And a good job she did. She actually cleaned my whole house for me! Just for me!!! Not only did she clean, but she also bought me some "Congrats on the New-Turd presents!"











































She also got me a new Wubba because I accidently chewed a little too far into my old Wubba!





























So, here I am again breaking in a new Wubba!



When I got home I slept a lot, but I also had to show my human that I was okay by chewing lots and looking happy!


















































I'm feeling okay and I get some good medicine! Thanks to all of you out there who have expressed some concern about my New-Turd. I'm still looking for it, and I'll let you know when I find it! Lets cross our paws that it's glorious!















This is the stitched up Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to never let a human poke you in the leg with something. You'll leave with a piece of you missing!

Also...HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley