I'M NAKED!!!

This may be how you all remember me...this is how I remember me. When my human woke me up this morning and put me in the car I had no idea what I was up for. Ahhhh my warm fuzzy fuzz...

And now...this is all that is left of me!
I'm still cute right? I mean, I know I don't look like the same four legged human, but you'll all love me still, right?

Oh man! I'm naked!

I started to feel a little nervous about my four legged human capabilities! I was hoping that I would still be able to chew on chewies naked, play with toys naked, and run naked...good news! You don't need fuzz to do any of those things!


I decided that maybe I should start working on my glamour shots. Who knows, maybe I'll get a call from Hugh Hefner wanting to do a special on naked puppies!










































And of course, I had to get a shot of me on the bed...'cause that only seems right...
Before rumors start flying...I'll end them right now. My nose is not an implant! It is all natural. I grew it all on my own!

I'm not sure, but I think this is the equivalent of what the two legged humans call "bed room eyes."















I thought that maybe Hugh would like this shot of me, because it shows my goofy side. I want all four legged humans to realize that they can be naked too, while being themselves...






There's a catch to being naked, though. You get cold...there is no more fuzz to protect you. Good news though! You get to snuggle in a blanket!






I feel that this lime green blanket really brings out my eyes...
This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley ... what's left of me anyway, signing out!


Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Another One!

Look! Look! Look what came to the door today! YEAAAA HOOOO! Faya's package arrived today! I could smell her all over it! She must have rubbed herself on my box and all over the insides...mmmm Faya...you smell like a great four legged human! They should make a perfume after your scent! Hehehe!

Anyway! I took my typical package opening approach to this particular box...but let me tell you, those corners were tough to get! They were pretty thick! Mmmm Box...

After my human helped me with the tape I stuck my head inside and took inventory!

And look what I found first!




That's right! A cow!!! A white cow!!! And it came with a locket for my human so she can have a picture of me with her all the time! My human thanks you Faya! Now my human will never forget me! You and your Mom ROCK!


I think I shall name the cow...MooMoo. Yes, MooMoo the cow shall work perfectly!

Isn't MooMoo just perfect!

My human definitely has twinky filling for a brain! I don't care how long she worked today...you would think she would know how to open my treats! I mean, good thing I cracked the top of my treat lid 'cause I would have never got to taste them...



After I chomped up a few of the treats I realized that there was something more that I needed to discover! And Lookie what it was! Is this how I wear it Faya?!?! Just call me Bease the Home maker...I'm ready to clean up any crumbs that may have tumbled to the floor!

And here...you can just call me Mr. T-Bone Teresa...

Okay, so maybe I'm not suppose to be a Home Maker, or a Saint. How about Beasley the Awesome Rocker!!! Is this any better Faya?

Beasley's gotta bone...(sung to the tune of Janie's got a gun by Aerosmith)

I totally Rock this Bandanna!

I think the Honkin'/Fartin' Duck and MooMoo the Cow are gonna get along just fine!

Thank you so much Faya! I nearly peed trying to open that box to get the inside goods! I will send my human to the store tomorrow to find some good Faya worthy box stuffers! Hehe!

This is a very excited Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Nameless Eel...

Hello Land Lovers! Arrrrr Matey. Now, that I got the Pirate in me out, I have someone very important to introduce to you all!

Meet my new Eel!

Sadly, my Eel has no name! So I need suggestions! Right now, it's just Eel...and I'm not quite sure if it's a boy or a girl! I'm stuck! So help me! Help me name my nameless Eel!

Let me show you a few other pictures to help you out. I mean, you gotta see all sides of it's personality before you name it...

Right here, I was just getting to know the Eel a little bit better...

After we talked a little bit I informed him about Larry, he seemed a little jealous at first...but eventually I let it know my whole philosophy on "Sharing is Caring..." and the Eel quickly got over it. At that time I felt it was appropriate to introduce the Eel to Larry the Lobster...

Why do my stuffies gotta sniff butts? I mean, I'm glad that Larry caught on quickly...but I mean the Eel is a new guest to the house. I thought we could break the Eel in before it got sniffed by all my stuffies...

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and begging you all to help me find a name for my Eel!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

National Stuffie Appreciation Day

I've always loved my Larry the Lobster, even as a little baby! We've always had a loving relationship. He loves me even though I bite him, shake the living crap outta him, and chew on him. Yah know...he even loved me after I barfed all over him! Larry has been there for me all those times that I've been locked up in my crate, he's really the only one around here who will listen to me. So there really is nothing else to do but love him a little bit!

It's hard to imagine that our stuffies have feelings, but they totally do! I mean, they bleed white fluff when they've been loved a little too much...so they have to have some sort of feelings. So here is to my beloved Larry the Lobster, I dedicate this blog to him! He's the only one beside my human who loves me in spite of my vomit, poo and smelly farts.

Ahhhh yes, my butt sniffing toys...These two stuffies have learned a great deal from me. I try to mentor them as much as possible, and it looks like their stuffie filled heads absorbed some of what I have taught them! One day my human and I came out to the living room to find my stuffies doin' the butt sniff! I was so proud! My human couldn't stop laughing! Anyway, after seeing this phenomenon I realized that stuffies are real! They must come alive at night when we aren't looking...but they must have minds of their own.

I have great love for my Squiggly dog, mostly because he has a great whappability factor. You can shake him and he flies everywhere and hits anyone in his path! His head squeaks and his butt rattles, so I get the best of both worlds in one stuffie! Lately he has spent a lot of time traveling with me to and from work. So, I decided to give him some intense snuggle time. And PEE Esss...this is not puppy pornography...

Okay...so where are we on the stuffie appreciation list...oh yea, Solomon the snake...

Now, Solomon is the most sensitive of my stuffies. Yah know, he has two heads, so he's got a lot to hiss about. I try to make both sides of Solomon feel appreciated. I pretty much bite each side of him equally. However, in honor of National Stuffie Appreciation Day I let him get some rest and I really listened to all of his concerns and ideas. He actually had a really good idea today. He told me that I should put Squiggly on a stick! That way I have a rawhide and my Squiggly all in one!

So I did it!

Okay and last but not least, the newest edition to my stuffie collection!!! My Honkin'/Fartin' duck from Deetz.

Okay, I have a confession...I killed my Honkin'/Fartin' Duck! Forgive me for I have sinned!!!! For real this time though! I broke his quacker! He no longer honks...or farts for that matter. Don't be mad Deetz, okay! I kissed him lots and I've been theraperizing him so much lately. In fact...he's on my owl bed right now waiting for his nightly snuggle. I love to sleep on him! He has been receiving the most appreciation thus far today, being that he is my newest stuffie, yet he has felt the wrath that is Mr. T-Bone Beasley on a higher level. Poor Honkin'/Fartin' Duck.

Lastly, Satan asked me to show you all her appreciation for stuffies as well! So here she is, sleeping next to her favorite stuffie!

Thanks to everyone who joined me in National Stuffie Appreciation Day!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

No Hurting My Human!

Okay, so today I went to work with my human...again. And I gotta tell you, I don't know how much I like it. I try to get my human to stay home with me, but then she mentions something about no money equals no food and no treats. As soon as I hear that I can't get her out the door fast enough!

Anyway, today was upsetting for me. My human got a threatening phone call from a very angry human. Due to the nature of where we work me and my human can't go too far in to details...we signed confidentiality papers! Anyway, this other VERY angry human told my human that she was going to die and that she was going to kill her! KILL HER! Now if my human dies how the crap am I gonna get my chow and treats! So I had to take matters into my own hand...

That's right! You know what that means! I had to bring out my Lazer Beam eyes, my striped brown nose and all that I have left of my teeth! Don't I look scary enough to ward off anyone that tried to kill my human!? I look like a puppy with some rabies! I would be scared if I wasn't me!

Well, once I realized that my human didn't care about the call, and that she laughed it off I decided that maybe I could go back to just plain 'ol Mr. T-Bone Beasley. When I wasn't listening my human and another office mate of mine called the police...they didn't want to concern me I guess. I didn't know they called until 3 police officers stepped into my office! They totally caught me off guard... I wasn't in attack mode! I was too busy enjoying a good chew on the tire..

Anyway, the police rather enjoyed me. They tried to stay all professional looking, and like they were big and bad...but as soon as they saw my fuzzy head and bushy tail...it was love...

So, to make a long story short, my human still lives! Thus we are able to put out this blog tonight!

So here I am, home, and super relieved that I didn't have to bring out my furrrocious side tonight!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Givin' Therapy to Stuffies

I have a few concerns that have been occupying my mind lately...stuffies being one of them. Yah know, us four legged humans we bite, lick, rip, shred, gut and sometimes demolish our stuffies, all with good intentions of course, but do we ever say "Thank You"...I know I don't.

I think we should make May 8th National Stuffie Appreciation Day. I propose that on the 8th we all post our favorite pictures of our stuffies and tell the world why we love them so.

I started National Stuffie Appreciation a bit early! I only did it 'cause, well, my stuffies have been through a lot. So, over the weekend I gave lots of therapy to my stuffies. I don't know if you can tell, but there is a moose under my fuzzy head in the picture above. Not only is my Moose stuffy receiving very intense therapy, but I also kissed his ear and head so much that the stuffing inside got a little therapy too! Gosh I love my stuffies!

And here, my duck was feeling a little depressed, so I let him quack it out, then napped with him and kept him all warm and fuzzy on the owl bed! He appreciated it so much that he let me get a few good honks/farts outta him without even putting up a fight!

I even brought the Honkin'/Fartin' duck to work with me so he wouldn't be alone. He needed a lot of consoling over the weekend. Apparently, I have both abused and neglected him the past few days...so he was number one on my list to theraperize.

Solomon the snake was up next. I brought him to work too, mostly because he enjoys seeing the kids! Let me tell you, a one headed snake can talk...but you just wait and hear all that a two headed snake has to say! I had to lay on one head at a time, they each needed their own therapy session!




Now this guy, he was a charity case. I found him in the backyard of the Infant House at work. Enough said right there right? He's around lots of boogers and stuff, so I took him and claimed him in the name of Mr. T-Bone Beasley! I licked him lots so it was like a nice massage to him. Then I layed on him...he felt more love and care than he ever has before!

Okay, now my Squiggly was the most important to me, mostly because he's the one who feels my wrath the most. When my human doesn't give me more puppy chow...he gets Bease bit. When I get told "NO!" I chomp on him a bit. And when I'm just down right ornery I shake the livin' crap outta him! So, my dearest Squigg...I just hugged him and held on to him tight for most of the afternoon. I gave him all I had! Even the other stuffies surrounded my head because it was so intense!

This reminds me of a scene from Titanic...I'll never let you go Squigg...I'll never let you go...

Oh man I love my Squiggly!!!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out reminding everyone that National Stuffie Appreciation is May 8th!!!! Also...if you haven't done so already, please go over to my awesome friend Deetz's page and vote on the Scary Eye Contest! Him and his mum spent lots of time to make some fun for all of us four legged humans! Woohoo for Deetz and his mum!!!

Slurp!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Drug Pusher...

Okay, so I live with a drug pusher. You heard me right, a drug pusher. The culprit you ask...my human. That's right, my human is the drug pusher. I don't know why anyone hasn't turned her in yet. If she didn't feed me, then I would totally turn her in to the the authorities.

I know what you're thinking...you're thinking, "C'mon T-Bone, what kind of drugs could your human possibly be pushing? I mean, she seems like a nice enough human..." But you just wait 'til you see the drugs! Four legged humans, shield your eyes if you are sensitive to paraphernalia...okay, here it is...
I KNOW!!!! She makes me take one of those pink little tablets at least once a day! It all started a couple of days ago. With the weather changing my human has been sneezing a lot, and she walks around the house with water dripping from her eyes. What a baby! I'm glad I don't do that! The problem is, just because she likes to take those drugs doesn't mean that I need them! DRUG PUSHER!!!!

Apparently, about a week ago I started the huffing sound when I get all excited (it's not a cough, more so a phlegmy gush of Bease air that is exuded). And then when it's done, I choke on the phlegm. Heheeh, it freaks out my human. I thought it was funny until she put the pink pill infront of my nose.

Now, I don't mind taking pills. Call me a pill popper if you will, but who knows what it will taste like?! So, I stay open minded and try everything, I don't discriminate. The only problem is that I can't get the pill down, it's just too small - not enough substance, so it just falls out of my mouth. So guess how my human gets that pill in me...
That's right, she disguises the pill with my favorite Kong paste! What a SNEAK! Please remember that I don't discriminate against anything that my human feeds me because I TRUST her! But look what my trust has gotten me...


You see right my friends! Ibecome a very sleepy, very konked out Mr. T-Bone Beasley! And I think my God Human must have gotten to Satan with those little pills too...














I had words with Satan later and asked if she got the little pink pill too, but she said that she just likes to sleep...it's what she does. She did tell me that she used to get benadryl a few months ago...so she had some advice for me, that worked for her. Once the pill gets in your mouth just start foaming and get angry...she did this with her human, and it worked. I may have to look into that. But, the Kong Stuffin' is just soooo good!


My human, the drug pusher. I'm so ashamed...

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to say NO to drugs!


Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley