Thursday, April 30, 2009
I Love Grass!
Fellow four legged ones! I am here! Well, you know...I'm back.
I am all moved in! Yea! It was a bit of a rough week when we moved. I mean, my human was taking things apart (with these tool things that I was sure she didn't know how to use) and then putting them in my Bease mobile. Then!!!! The stoopid human had the audacity to leave me in the house by myself with most of my belongings gone! She took like 5 trips over to the new place and just left me behind!
Finally, she came back to the house - we ate, and then she loaded me up in the very crowded Bease mobile (she's lucky she rolled the window down for me or I would have for sure farted and killed everything around me) and took me to the new place. I'll have you know that I hated it! Lots of our stuff was thrown everywhere, but nothing of MINE was in the house! The nimrod of a human did not bring my very precious toys and chewies to entertain me!
While she unpacked boxes and put things back together I sniffed things out. I thought about peeing on the walls just to mark it as mine - but alas I remembered that I ought to use manners when entering a new place. So, I peed outside on the patio instead. I mean, I HAD to! Anything can get into a backyard, so I needed everything to know that the backyard was definitely mine! I mean, pretty much anything I touch is mine, but the backyard for sure does not belong to anyone else!
Since the human forgot my toys I found a rubber ball in the backyard that I got to kill!
The best part of this backyard is that I have grass! Yea! Like for real - dead grass, you know the straw-like grass that is great to roll in and bring inside!
Anyway, I was packed back into the Jeep (Bease mobile) and taken to the remainings of my home that I have known for over a year. While we were there I found this pottery thing that was like evil and stuff. Since I never really got to sniff that sucker out, I had to give it a nice and fuuurrrrocious echo-ey bark to show it who is boss. I've never liked pottery or big pots. I'm pretty sure that evil exists inside, it's always made me a bit nervous...
When the room was cleaned out, only my humans - ahem MY bed remained and it was put up against the wall. And wouldn't you know it...Linus decided to play king of the mattress!
He's lucky I didn't jump that high to get him of MY property! THEN!!! The human went to pack up all of my treats and stuff, but she had to leave to go get some tape, and when she came back there was a Linus in the box! In MY box!
Anyway, getting used to my new home has been a bit of an adjustment, but I think I'm starting to like it lots! I get to guard the yard...
Ooooo and I’ve also discovered that I really enjoy destroying sprinklers! Those things are awesome!
There’s always lots to be done in the back yard, so I make sure I spend a lot of time “on-duty” there…
And of course, I'm always working and on duty - I'm just tricky, I don’t really sleep...
While the pheasant is in the midst of being repaired, I was given the GOOSE! The goose is pretty awesome, I've almost killed his squeaker, but I like to leave the migrators in suspense...never knowing when their lost honk and fart will be! Muahahahahaha!
I got all sorts of awesome things when we moved - which of course made things a bit easier on me! I got a green gator that has no stuffing, but makes 2 different kinds of squeaking - which is awesome! I also got a purple duck with a squeaker and crinkly feet...uhhh some new shredfully awesome rope, a new rope ball, and a carrot!
I love that fricken carrot! We like to play "where's the carrot" in my house! My human will send a picture of my carrot in the random places that I leave it, then she sends it to my God Human (humans roommate) and she has to guess where I left it! Oooohhhhhh yea! It's a great game. Sometimes for fun I just like to squeak the sucker over and over - just to make sure the humans really are sleeping. If I hear a grunt or some other choice words, then I know they are faking sleep and I usually enter one of their rooms to serenade them to sleep with sweet squeaker awesomeness!
This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that if it's yours, then pee on it!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley