Where Did I Go?

Fear not my furry friends!!! I have arrived! I am back! No thanks to my human of course!

Have you ever felt neglected? Like you weren’t number one on your Humans mind? Well…NOT ME!!! Woohoo! That’s why I haven’t been around lots, this time it’s not my humans fault…it’s all mine! I’ve been soaking up all her time and love, and it’s been glorious!

It all started on August 5th…the day I was going to disown my human. It was my first day of school. That’s right! I was being learned! I was way excited to train my human, until I realized that I was being drug around a room with my human shouting “SIT!” “HEEL!” And all I could do was put on my brakes and act like I didn’t know how to walk on a leash or sit.

My ultimate goal was to embarrass the living crap outta my human. I think I succeeded. If I had cheeks and lips I would have told my human F--- YOU, then covered her in my hateful spit! Hehehe, I was so angry at her. The trainer put this gentle leader thing around my nose, so I had to listen…quickly I learned to dislike him as much as my human, but he made me listen to him. My human wasn’t quite so lucky…

The next day I decided to cut my human some slack and I showed her how well I could sit and heel. This coming Tuesday I’m going to class again, hopefully this time I get to teach my human how to sit and heel.

I have so much to talk about and tell you all, but I will have to fit little pieces in here and there with some other posts.

But here is one HUGE update! My God Human adopted a new kitty! YEA!!! I have another toy in the house. But, I’m really nice to him. Wanna hear the funny thing about this new guy? Well first, we names him Linus, secondly, he looks exactly like Satan!!!

Here he is!!!

Here is Satan!

And here they are together!

Satan doesn’t quite like Linus yet, so she spends a lot of time with me. Whenever they hiss and growl at each other I have to be the mediator. I get up and nose them both…they know what’s up…

Speaking of Satan, she has been stealing my treats lately. She has figured out how to get in the box. I'm not very fond of her new found ability.

Next…I got this Red Bow award from my real good friend Chef.

Chef is way awesome and I’m so thankful to have such a great friend like him. Infact, OH CRAP!!! I feel a rap coming on!!!!

Wicky Wicky, his name is Chef and he’s a stylish dude. Right now he’s trying to win the ladies and is trying not to be rude. He likes this girl Gucci and wants to sniff her butt! He told me I need to find a girl and all I could say is…WHAT! My main man Chef he’s got this quirky face that always shows that love and sticks are always coming in first place. Sticks come first, love comes second then some belly rubs…well why not? He’s already naked!

Hehehehe WOOT WOOT! Much love to you Chef!!!

Nextly, I got this Good Friend award from my farting friend, DEETZ! Deetz was like my first friend ever on blogger!!! Wanna know a secret? At first I thought he was a girl, and I asked if he would be my girlfriend…I’m sure this is when he knew that we were gonna be some awesome friends! Oh…OHHHH it’s happening again!!! Another rap!!

Jiggy Jiggy, D-D-D-Deetz my first friend ever well he likes to fart, the louder the better! He likes his snackies and his older little bro Gizmo, but when he doesn’t get enough treats he says, “Hey, I want some MO!” We both bottle farts so we can fly far and play some massive bitey face then fly home just by opening a jar! Deetz, he’s awesome he trains his mum well. When he barks she answers even when he’s in jail!

WOOOT!!!

Lastly, I received this awesome credit card award from my friends Kirby, George and Levi and Angel Cooper. Kirby is awesome. He like’s to open boxes the same way I do! We both know that the corner approach is the best way to get a box open, while ensuring that the grand box flavor is savored in every bite! And George, well…SHE is the coolest! You would think that she would be a boy, but she’s not…she’s like a spy! Hehehehe! Levi is one of my newest friends who is fond of hate eating and paper shredding (which is like music to my ears) and Cooper is such a good friend that watches over his family and all of us! Woot Woot!

Thanks so much to everyone who passed awards on to me! You truly made my week, and if I could I would lick you all on the nose!

Speaking of noses…I need to go check on Faya’s nose…I gotta make sure it’s still looking good and juicy!

OHHHHHH and for real lastly…Lacie said she is gonna be my personal trainer. She’s gonna whip my dale booty (my corn dog tail as some of you would recognize it) into shape! Lacie~ I’ve already started working out. Last Thursday I ran like all day. I didn’t swim, or do push ups, but I for sure ran!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to put your names on the top of your human’s lists!

Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley