Sunday, August 17, 2008

Where Did I Go?

Fear not my furry friends!!! I have arrived! I am back! No thanks to my human of course!

Have you ever felt neglected? Like you weren’t number one on your Humans mind? Well…NOT ME!!! Woohoo! That’s why I haven’t been around lots, this time it’s not my humans fault…it’s all mine! I’ve been soaking up all her time and love, and it’s been glorious!

It all started on August 5th…the day I was going to disown my human. It was my first day of school. That’s right! I was being learned! I was way excited to train my human, until I realized that I was being drug around a room with my human shouting “SIT!” “HEEL!” And all I could do was put on my brakes and act like I didn’t know how to walk on a leash or sit.

My ultimate goal was to embarrass the living crap outta my human. I think I succeeded. If I had cheeks and lips I would have told my human F--- YOU, then covered her in my hateful spit! Hehehe, I was so angry at her. The trainer put this gentle leader thing around my nose, so I had to listen…quickly I learned to dislike him as much as my human, but he made me listen to him. My human wasn’t quite so lucky…

The next day I decided to cut my human some slack and I showed her how well I could sit and heel. This coming Tuesday I’m going to class again, hopefully this time I get to teach my human how to sit and heel.

I have so much to talk about and tell you all, but I will have to fit little pieces in here and there with some other posts.

But here is one HUGE update! My God Human adopted a new kitty! YEA!!! I have another toy in the house. But, I’m really nice to him. Wanna hear the funny thing about this new guy? Well first, we names him Linus, secondly, he looks exactly like Satan!!!

Here he is!!!

Here is Satan!

And here they are together!

Satan doesn’t quite like Linus yet, so she spends a lot of time with me. Whenever they hiss and growl at each other I have to be the mediator. I get up and nose them both…they know what’s up…

Speaking of Satan, she has been stealing my treats lately. She has figured out how to get in the box. I'm not very fond of her new found ability.
Next…I got this Red Bow award from my real good friend Chef.

Chef is way awesome and I’m so thankful to have such a great friend like him. Infact, OH CRAP!!! I feel a rap coming on!!!!

Wicky Wicky, his name is Chef and he’s a stylish dude. Right now he’s trying to win the ladies and is trying not to be rude. He likes this girl Gucci and wants to sniff her butt! He told me I need to find a girl and all I could say is…WHAT! My main man Chef he’s got this quirky face that always shows that love and sticks are always coming in first place. Sticks come first, love comes second then some belly rubs…well why not? He’s already naked!

Hehehehe WOOT WOOT! Much love to you Chef!!!

Nextly, I got this Good Friend award from my farting friend, DEETZ! Deetz was like my first friend ever on blogger!!! Wanna know a secret? At first I thought he was a girl, and I asked if he would be my girlfriend…I’m sure this is when he knew that we were gonna be some awesome friends! Oh…OHHHH it’s happening again!!! Another rap!!

Jiggy Jiggy, D-D-D-Deetz my first friend ever well he likes to fart, the louder the better! He likes his snackies and his older little bro Gizmo, but when he doesn’t get enough treats he says, “Hey, I want some MO!” We both bottle farts so we can fly far and play some massive bitey face then fly home just by opening a jar! Deetz, he’s awesome he trains his mum well. When he barks she answers even when he’s in jail!


Lastly, I received this awesome credit card award from my friends Kirby, George and Levi and Angel Cooper. Kirby is awesome. He like’s to open boxes the same way I do! We both know that the corner approach is the best way to get a box open, while ensuring that the grand box flavor is savored in every bite! And George, well…SHE is the coolest! You would think that she would be a boy, but she’s not…she’s like a spy! Hehehehe! Levi is one of my newest friends who is fond of hate eating and paper shredding (which is like music to my ears) and Cooper is such a good friend that watches over his family and all of us! Woot Woot!

Thanks so much to everyone who passed awards on to me! You truly made my week, and if I could I would lick you all on the nose!

Speaking of noses…I need to go check on Faya’s nose…I gotta make sure it’s still looking good and juicy!

OHHHHHH and for real lastly…Lacie said she is gonna be my personal trainer. She’s gonna whip my dale booty (my corn dog tail as some of you would recognize it) into shape! Lacie~ I’ve already started working out. Last Thursday I ran like all day. I didn’t swim, or do push ups, but I for sure ran!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to put your names on the top of your human’s lists!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley


the 4 Bs said...

hey Mr. Beasley, that's one pawsome nose you have there, kiddo. you are one handsome dude.

we're glad to hear that you're getting your human trained. they need a lot of training to get them to be good at heeling and sitting.

your new kitty, Linus, looks like a nice kiddo. we hope that he and Satan can learn to share you.


Molly and Taffy said...

Hi Mr T

Great to see you back we had missed you. So you have another cat friend, pity it's not a Welshie. Try and persaude your Mum you need a canine friend to keep you in mischief!!!

Molly and Taffy

Penny, Poppy & Patches said...

Congrats on your awards, Beasley! It's always nice to have your hooman trained to your way of thinking. Ours don't sit and heel too well, but they are great at opening and closing the door and passing out treats when we want them.

Poppy, Penny & Patches


Hey Mr T-Bone,

Thanks for stopping by. Congrtas on your awards. I'm goona be doing a post on kitty cats and their doggie brothers and you think I could use your picture & your kiddie cats on it?


Noah the Airedale said...

Hiya Bease
We wondered where you'd gotten too. Crikey you got another kitty to play with. D loves the name Linus.


Kess And Her Mama said...

Keep us posted on training your humans to sit and heel. I wonder what is their fascination with these 2 commands? Congrats on your awards!

Faya said...

It was realy time for your humans to be trained ! I have been at school with my VĂ©ronique but she doesn't want to talk about it. NEVER she says....oups hahahahaha....Do you still love me ? hahahahaha
Say welcome to Linus please with a big kiss from me.
It is sooooo good to hear about you and the last picture...haaaaaa your nose.....your nose.....
Kisses, Faya

Dewey Dewster said...


It sure sound like ya have been busy lately...hope Gram doesn't get any ideas from ya about goin' ta school....cause I'm not goin'.....'n it's nice ya got a new friend ta play with....good thing it's at yer house and not ours cause we love ta chase kitties....'n 2 of 'em would be more fun.....congrats on yer awards....yer nose knows......

Dewey Dewster here....

Gunner said...

Wow that's a lot of cats in one house dude!

And man can you rap, you're gonna be a mega, do, do, do, da, da, it's T-Bone time....


Stanley said...

Hey, T-Bone!

It's good to see that your hooman has her priorities straight, even if she IS a little misguided by this training idea. All I can say is, if you go along with it, it becomes treat and barking class more than training class. Seriously. Just go with it.

You, my friend, are one rappin' FOOL! I'd like to hear you bust a beat sometime on video. I can just see you wearing the "cans" and working the vinyl. SO hip, man.

Goober love & smooches,

Deetz said...

You make me giggle with your rapping.....your silly Beasley. We are the bestest pals ever. You would have been proud of me yesterday. I got up on the couch and stretched and when I did, I farted! Mum knew it was me, cuz I got all silly and had a big smile on my face. It was a loud one too!
Gizmo thought I was disgusting, but oh well.

Tenkiller Airedales said...

Good morning T-Bone ... You don't have to worry sweetheart, you'll always be my one and only T-Bone Beasley!!!!

Hugs, slurps, woofs,
Momma Greta

Deetz said...

I gave you the gold card already have one? dog gone it....well you can have two

Asta said...

How nice fow you to have had all that special time, and then get a new kitty to play wif...I hope you get to teach youw Mom how to sit and stay this week..I do sit, but I'm howwible at stay..good luck and congwatulations on youw awawds!
smoochie kisses

Chef said...

Bease!!! I'm splitting my furs laughing. You are too funny!!! Thanks for the rap. Makes me feel like Mister CooldudeMcBoxer. Hey, about school. Be patient. She'll get it eventually. Soon she'll be your slave. hehehe. One cat in the house is manageable, Bease, but now you got TWO like me. They'll conspire to get your treats and your toys so you better stay on your toes. Hey, and train your human to let you blog more!

Maggie and Mitch said...

We can't believe that Satan is eating YOUR doggie treats, Mr. T-Bone Beasley! This is totally unacceptable!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Oh Linus looks like a really nice kitty. We have a couple of those too but ours have ginsu knives.. Callie and Louie can't hear them hissing at them so they just keep trying to get after them. Louie has a small slice in his ear for not "listening" to Jordie...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Willow the Black Dale said...

Your back, your back.... your really really back! We thought maybe you opened a few bottles of farts and took off to Deetzy's. We just new your mom was treating you bad with that....that....class. What is she thinking?

Thank you for keeping me company while my hoomans were out your way. Too bad you didn't get to meet my pack. You really must meet them the next trip out.

HEY!!!! I hear mama Greta is going to be having puppies. Woohoo More brothers and sisters for you Bease!!!

Moocho Smoochos,

Sami & Baylee said...

Oh how cute your new kitty Linus looks. Have you played bitty face yet?

Lorenza said...

Hi, Mr. T!
that picture of Satan with your treats made me laugh a lot!
That thing of the training does not sounds pretty good!
Welcome Linus! I hope you all get along well!
Kisses and hugs

Pacco de Mongrel said...

i hope u will enjoy going to class with ur humans

happy said...

Looks like you were training your hoomans well there hehehe...

Congrats on all your awards! You certainly deserve them. I've given you a same award too! Do come by to pick it up when you are free.

Amber-Mae said...

Oh Mr.Beasley, I AM proud of you!!! But, but, but, you seem to be training your Mom instead of the other way around. Now, be a good boi Beasley. You wouldn't want to suffer the same fate as I did when I was stubborn last time. So just as long as you obey your Mom, just do whatever she asks you to do, you will get LOTS of rewards & praising. Trust me on this! If your Mom does something wrong instead of you, just call me. My Mommy will be glad to help her out. Be an A-Star student okay!

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

Thor said...

Hi T-Bone!
How nice you got a new friend to play with! Linus looks cool!
Congrats on your awards!

Deetz said...

Talk about farting..Gizmo had a silencer and mum must have said "my lord" a hundred times, even I was impressed. If I would have known he was going to do that, I could have had enough energy and gas to made it to AZ, non stop.

Abby said...

Hi, T-Bone...

I missed you...It sounds like you have been having fun though...

My Mom keeps telling me she's gonna take me to school, too...Something about me being a "Spoiled Brat" or something...I don't know...

Abby xxxooo

Niamh said...

Yes, people are obsessed with sitting and it becomes somewhat annoying at times. I am sorry that you didn't enjoy your class very much. I love to go to school because it usually means lots of delicious treats like string cheese.

Your friend,

Bogart said...

Mama LOVES the nose picture!!!


Deefor said...

Hi T-Bone
Are you training your human to give you treats every time they want something? No free lunch. That's how I trained mine. Sit. Treat. Down. Treat. Too bad you got the dreaded nose leash. But I am on a soft little collar that suddenly grabs you and whips you around if you start growling and lunging at strange doggies in the park.... Glad you're back. Congratulations on all your great awards.