Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Treats Arrived!

They arrived!!! The treats that Gaia sent finally arrived! It was so exciting! When my human walked up to the front door there was the box, just sitting there in the heat! And of course I could smell it from the inside the house, while suspensfully (yes I said suspensfully) waiting for the treat giving to begin!

When my human finally let me out of my prison box, also known as my crate, I ran right to the table where the box resided on the dinner table. Then, my human did the dumbest thing I think I’ve ever seen her do! The moron put the box in the freezer! How the heck was I suppose to open my box when it’s frozen! She’s CRAZY!!!

Turns out, the box was hot and needed to cool down, thus the insides of the box were also hot and needed to cool down. Sometimes I forget that I’m not the only hot one. I should have been more sensitive to the box and its hotness. So, really…my human isn’t too crazy. Secretly though, she’s pretty crazy…you ought to see the looks on her face when my toys are murdered by the C-A-T (I don’t do it! Really…) or when new holes and water sprinklers are exposed in the backyard (again…the cat. It’s always Satan’s fault. I do no wrong).

Anyway, once the box felt some relief from the heat…I got my chompers ready and shouted to my human, “Let the box opening COMMENCE!”

In my mad attempt to get the insides out, my human snatched the box and pulled the insides out! Look what we found! My treats from Gaia! I could smell Gaia all over them! I think she probably tried to eat one of mine…who could blame the girl! These things looked delish! No amount of drool could keep me from these treats!

My human let me eat the biggest and fattest treat first…

You can tell they were good…I had my happy ears on! Happy ears are the ultimate expression of my glee! I kinda look like I could fly away like Dumbo…Hey! Maybe that’s all I got to do to meet up with Deetz! I need to get my ears muscular enough to lift me and fly away. DEETZ!!WILLOW!!! Listen up! The bottled farts may not be the best bet right now! The pollution may be too great anyway. So, here’s the new plan…start building muscle in our ears, and learn to fly. But maybe we should keep bottling our farts incase flying turns out not to be our forte!

Ummmmm Beeeyotch!!! Human! I have three more treats…where are they! I have totally waited and have yet to devour the other treats!

Anyway! Onto the greatness that is treats! Look what other treat I got!

It was totally made for me! So I made sure I ate it well, and with a little delicacy … but just a little.

While I was consuming all that is a Beasley treat, Satan walked by. I became a little stressed, as you can see…

I mean who wouldn’t be! So many thoughts were going through my head. Was Satan going to try and eat my treat if I didn’t’ finish it fast enough? Should I ditch the treat and get Satan! The stress was clearly too much…

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to check out the yumminess that are the treats from my friend Gaia!


Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Monday, July 28, 2008

Huge Explosion!

Did you guys hear it??? Did you? I missed it! I didn't even hear it, but look!!! Larry the Lobster exploded!

I think Satan did it! In fact, I'm sure Satan did it! I bet she waved her tail infront of Larry's face, and Larry being allergic to C-A-T-S, sneezed! He sneezed so hard that he blew out his stuffing!

Okay, now...if you didn't hear Larry the Lobster explode, then I'm sure you had to hear this!

YES!!! Eli Stripes the Eel!! He sploded too! I'm sure Satan was behind this too! She knew that C-A-T-S make Eli Stripes the Eel sick when he swallows C-A-T fuzz! I bet she took her tail and put it in his mouth!

Oh the HORROR! The EVIL!!! The MADNESS!!!! Poor Eli Stripes the Eel, he threw up all of his insides!
I loved those two the most! I only had one Tuff Toys left! My I loved on him lots!

Huh? What? No No No! I didn't do it! I was uhhh...well I was trying to put the stuffing back inside! It was Satan! Satan did it! She clawed Starry to death!

I tried telling my human that I needed a new Larry, Eli Stripes and Starry...when she reminded me about my beloved Squiggly...

Please tell me you heard the exposion of my favorite Squigg! I woke up from a nap (it was weird I couldn't remember anything when I woke up) and there lied Squiggly, right next to me...he exploded! I tried to give him one final play time, but the human said it was time to let him rest. So, I got a new Squiggly...

Squigg number one and Squigg number two were introduced and Squigg number one gave Squigg number two some valuable play time tips. He wanted the new Squigg to know what makes me happy.
Then it happened, I kissed and tugged on Squiggly number one for the last time, then he went into the GARBAGE!
Eh, oh well! I had a new Squigg to break in!
I loved on him lots and made sure that when he grew old he would have lots of stories to share with all my other toys...until this...

I don't know if you can tell, but his head Sploded, too. I have no idea what happened to him. I went to play with him this morning, but then I realized that his head was empty and his fuzz was missing. After a careful inspection of my house I found his insides all over. I have yet to find out what Satan did to him...
In any event, because of Satan and the multiple explosions...the human has denied me a new Squiggly and new Tuff Toys...sigh...
Until my human caves in, I'm gonna try and de-stuff this!

What? She's my C-A-T! JB...I would never bother you okay? It's just that Satan wants me to...she told me...she likes when I chase her and try to play bitey face...

On a brighter note, this morning I woke up my human really early. She didn't hear my whining at the door. So I got myself all hot, then I jumped on the bed and snuggled on her real good while panting. At 70 pounds I make the whole bed move. So, there was nothing left for her to do, but wake her lazy self up and adore me...and feed me!
Speaking of food...I'm finally able to eat big dog food! My human is mixing my puppy chow and big dog food so my belly doesn't get all upset and stuff. Oh man! I love the big dog food. I'm totally ready to be a REAL big dog! So...I try to eat around all the puppy bits and eat mostly just the big dog food!

Finally, look what my God Human got me! Yea!!! She got me a new toy! It makes my nose dance!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all to plug your ears incase there is another explosion in the near future!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

You Want Me To Do What?

Hello my friends! Right now I’m experiencing a lot of emotions running through my fuzzy body. I can’t decide if I wanna chew up a shoe, kiss my human with lots of slobber, chase Satan the cat, play a game of bitey face, or just nap.

See, my day started just like any other day. As my human was heading out to Petsmart I looked at her with the face of “I want more bully sticks, rawhides, pig hooves, and a new stuffie to appreciate….AAAAnnnnnnddd…” and that’s where my human stopped my thought process and said, “Sorry Bease you’ve got enough treats and toys, right now. Today you are just getting some more food. We are going to help out someone else who needs it! Sometimes it’s better to give than to receive.”

What the crap! I totally enjoy receiving! I give plenty! I give smelly farts to my human, slobbery kisses, love bites, holes to put rocks in…and the list goes on…

So my human suckered me into listening to a story by grabbing a chewy from my dog closet…Since I had to hear it, well I thought it would be something you all would like to hear too..

Her name is Allison. As a child she grew up in an unsanitary orphanage and was one of many who contracted Polio as a toddler. Against all odds she survived this deadly disease and was strong enough to live her life to the best of her ability. She overcame all odds, after all, she was a survivor. She wasn't expected to walk, but proved that she could do anything, and was able to walk.

This is where I intervened and said, “uhhhh human? What the crap is polio?” The human then explained polio to be Poliomyelitis which is a very contagious disease caused by a virus. It takes over the nervous system, and can potentially create complete paralysis. It most commonly affects children under three. This virus starts infecting the intestines and then begins to multiply after it is ingested through the mouth. Symptoms of polio infection are similar to those of the flu, except that stiffness occurs in the neck and extraneous limbs.

After I realized what we were talking about I put my nose to the ground and continued to listen to my human.

This Allison now lives in a rural part of Maine. She continued to work hard and prove her abilities to overcome any obstacles. She raised children, went back to College, received a degree and even volunteered to help others that were in need. Through all of this she never had to ask for help or even complained. She was very proud of her ability to remain independent and self sufficient.

About six years ago, she collapsed while working, and was diagnosed with post-polio. From this point forward she lost her ability to walk and has been confined to the use of a wheelchair. Still, she doesn’t let this diagnosis get her down. After all, she dealt with everything thus far and was still feeling alive, this was just another obstacle to over come.

And here is the reason that my human has decided to cut back on my toy and treat intake…

Allison now needs help. Through her life of volunteering and helping others, many have turned their backs on her. At this point in Allison’s life she is in need of a service dog. My breeder and first surrogate human…Mommy Sherry has volunteered to donate a 7 month old, all black Airedale named, Sierra…and here she is! In all her glory!

Aren't her ears awesome! She looks like she could fly away!!! She has like bat ears!!!
Now, this beautiful dale is being donated along with free service training for Sierra from another self less human who just wants to help…

Apparently, my human and I will be donating some money to the cause! Though I thought we were stinkin’ rich, my human says we aren’t, but it’s always good to help out those in need. And that’s when she said, “now Bease, if you got sick and I couldn’t afford to help you out with all you needed, wouldn’t like others to help?” Uhhhh, duh human! Of course I would want help!!!! Who wouldn't want to help out one of us critters?!?!

So, being the fuzz bucket of love that I am, I have decided to forfeit a months worth of treats and new toys so that my human can help a little more.

We’ve already got about $100.00, but need about $1,000 more! This includes the materials it will take to train Sierra, shipping cost and getting Sierra spade. If we get more, everything will go toward helping to maintain a happy life for Sierra!

If any of you are able to help out even a little, please e-mail me at and I will send you further information!

This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley, donator extraordinaire signing out! Hehehehe!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Just Hosin' Around...

Greetings from my backyard!!! Over the weekend, while my human was sleeping I found these!

Yea! That's right! Whoever buried the sprinkler hoses in the backyard obviously didn't dig them deep enough, because it was a piece of cake to get to them. I even chomped on one a bit and gave it a tug! The coolest part of it, is that when I pulled on the hose it came further and further out of the groud! Mmmmm, chewy gummy hosey goodness!

So, when my human woke up she could do nothing but laugh...She let me have my fun for a little bit more...

But, then she decided to patch up the holes and burry the hoses a little deeper. So, while my human was sleeping I didn't dig up the hoses just for fun...I dug them up because I've noticed that my human has been gaining a little weight. Thus, by me digging up the hose, she had to buy a shovel and dig into the dirt and do a little manual labor. Of course she got the boy human to help her out so they both lost a little weight thanks to my hard work.

Ahhhh what I won't do for my human!

Now, I was tagged by Penny, Poppy and Patches for the Name Meme game...

1. What is your name? Officially, it is Mr. T-Bone Beasley. However, I also go by Bease, Beasley, T-Bone, Big Bear, Mr. T, You Little ~bleep~, DAMN'T MY SHOE!, and Bean Head. Those are the most recent names, of today any way. My human likes to be creative with my names and of course I don't mind...a little variety is good I suppose.

2. If you could change your name, what would it be? Beasley Ruler of the World!!! Or Fuzz Bucket of Love wouldn't be so bad either.

3. What is your pet's name (it can be a webkinz or a real pet)? I have my Squiggly dog that I like to beat up more often than not. If I get a little rough with him I also give him a few kisses to heal any wounds that I may have brought him.
4. What is your brother or sister's name? Don't have one of those, but I do have a cat named Satan who is my roommate!
Okay, I think lots of you furry ones out there have been tagged, so I won't tag anymore!
Abby also awarded me the Arte-y-Pico award!!!

In accordance with the rules set by Arte-y-Pico I must clearly state THE grab a pawtini and make yourselves you go...

1) You have to pick FIVE blogs that you consider deserve this award for creativity, design, interesting material and also contribute to the blogger community regardless of language.
2) Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog to be visited.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given him/her the award itself.

4) Award winners and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of the "Arte-y-Pico" blog so everyone will know the origin of the award

5) In compliance with said RULES, the award winner must show the RULES.

Now, I'm thinking that lots of others have received this I will pick one other to share the award with! I would like to pass this along to the 4xB's! They always come up with some of the best stories...and there are four of them! So,'s like each of them are getting the award! Woohoo! Go 4xB's!!!

Thank you so much Abby! You brought a huge toothy grin to my face today! For you I will go in the backyard a dig a new hole, in the name of Abby!

Lastly, I would like to remind everyone that our friends Faya and Willow have been nominated over at the Bone Zone! Faya is up for the Awesome Blog of the Month Award and Willow is up for the Best Picture of the Month Award!! Go get your vote on my friends!!

And lastly, lastly...please don't forget to vote for the best pictures of the International Goodie Exchange at Chef's photo album! If you need your post posted on the photo album, just let me know and I'll get my human on it PRONTO!!!
Hope all is good in your neighborhoods! Remember to keep a watch out for any and everything that may step foot in your yards!!


Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Thursday, July 17, 2008


Okay, well where do I begin...perhaps I shall start with the title of this post, poop. You read right my friends...poop.

Tuesday afternoon my human put me in my crate, turned on the fan and some music and left for work. I was in pretty good spirits when she left, I mean I was pretty tired and I got a treat. So being in my crate meant that I could eat and sleep without some human constantly petting me and kissing my head.

At about 6:30 pm my human received a call from my God human. Why you ask...well because I had a serious case of the runs! Like really bad. See I'm a pretty clean dog, I have a thing about pooping and peeing in spots that I will NEVER play in or NEVER sleep in. Needless to say, the crate is not where I do my business. I was plenty angry by the time my God human got home to spring me free. I had my poo all over me, all over my crate and all on the outside of my crate (I really tried hard not to poo on the inside). Anyway, so my God human was worried and tried to clean up the mess...when she came outside to check on me I kept poo-ing and well, I kinda poo-ed out some blood...well okay a lot of blood in each poo. She freaked out, which freaked me out...then it happened, she called my human!

Next thing I know, my human was at the door...she had that look on her face. You all know what look I'm talking about, the look of "you're going to the vet, you're going to get poked and prodded, and I'm about to pay a lot of money." Then she did the ONE thing I hate the most! She inspected my poo! What is with these humans and their obsession about poo? Then what does she do? SHE BAGS IT! It's bad enough that I had to spend the afternoon laying in the poo, but she was going to bring bags of it to the Vet with us, and she tells me that I do disgusting things?

I got to the vet and cried when we walked in so they would get me in faster. I feel that the faster I get in, the faster I get out. They pulled me to the back and asked my human a million questions while they felt around my belly, put a thermometer in my butt and then listened to my heart with this stethoscope thing that I tried really hard to touched me first, it pretty much invited me to eat it!

Anyway, who cares what I ate or if there were any changes in my environment! I just wanted someone to make the burning in my butt go away! By the way, I got weighed while I was there and I am now 67 pounds! The vet tried to freak out my human by saying all the things I could be sick with, then suggested all these different tests that could be done.

As soon as I heard "tests" I knew that meant my butt was going to have more troubles than just burning, so I shot my human the "I'm ready to go home look" and she just asked the vet what was necessary and what she would do for her own pet. The vet looked like she hadn't heard that in all honesty she said that she wouldn't waste the money it would cost to test me at the hospital. She believed that I had Colitis, (upset Colin) I should be put on a bland diet and take some pills that will ease the swelling of my Colin. She also suggested a rectal exam...which I got...stupid human...I sniff her butt and she jumps, wait till she has to get a real rectal exam!

And I also got some fluid put under the scruff of my neck to keep my hydrated! I looked like a camel!

On the way out I met my new friend Gelato. He was at the ER because he got bit on the foot really bad. We were instant friends!

~Sigh~ When I got home I still wasn't feeling my 100% Awesomeness that is I layed on the couch next to my human and told my hedgehog about my day...and my paranoid human.

Today, my butt is feeling better, and my human says that my poo is looking better. I don't even look at it, ones it hits the ground I'm outta there! That stuff stinks!

The good thing about being sick is that my human made me some chicken and rice, and today I got to eat some cottage cheese. I got little bits stuck in my fur...

Then, I got to chew on the container...

And my human wonders why my butt got sick...

Anyway, thanks to the chicken, rice and cottage cheese (my first taste of human food) I'm feeling much better. It doesn't hurt that my human loves on me and snuggles me when I'm nighmare-ing over the vet and the prodding.
Before I peace out, I want you all to know that if you stop by Chef's place you can vote on the best of the International Goody Exchange pictures! I know this all happened over a month ago, but it took the post office over a month just to get my package to my beloved friend Chef!!! You should all check it out! There are some awesome pictures of you all opening your presents and digging out the goods!!! So go get your vote on! Woohoo!
AAAANNNNND...I received this from my buddy Rambo!

He is one of my newest friends that I met on here! Make sure you all check him out and sniff out his space! Thanks so much for the Big Puffy Heart Rambo, you totally made my day! I would like to pass this along to Chef, Deetz, Faya and Willow! Those four always know what to say to bring a toothy grin to my face!
This is the now happily fuzzy butted Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out and reminding you all that if you hear your humans say the word "Vet," make sure you look like you feel 110% at all cost! For the sake of your butts don't ever let them know you feel icky!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley