Look what I got! Another package! This time it was from my human! I was so excited to find out what was in it! I mean really, what more could a Mr. T-Bone Beasley need or even ask for! I've already got Squiggly the Dog, Solomon the Snake, the Honkin'/Fartin' Duck, and chewies up the wazoo!
So, in order to find out the contents of the package, I had to take the corner approach again. It really is the best starting spot! See, what you do is gnaw on it until it becomes soggy and then you can shred the cardboard...then you pull off any tape that may be attached.
But you gotta make sure that you got a good grip on the box, otherwise pulling it to pieces can become a little difficult. That means you need to put your giant bear claws around the box, yah know...you have to show the box who's boss.
Once I got the box open, I found some aqua paper with a brown bow! Can you believe it! Who ever put my package together must have known me and my human's favorite color combination right now! Mind readers are the best! So anyway, I got the bow in my mouth and I pulled it all apart myself! But, once I realized the great sound that tissue paper makes, well...I went to town on that!
So look what was inside! Yea... great...this is nothing that I can chew on!
For the life of me I cannot get my human to understand that I don't care what goes around my neck! This whole stylish thing has gotten out of hand! I mean, I like to look good, but let me tell you what looks good...First, it's crucial that you have a nice layer of dirt that surrounds your fur, this acts as a protectant from things that may smell like flowers or perfume like thingies. Second, you must keep messy fur, this way if it gets a second layer of dirt the humans don't really notice, plus it keeps in the natural smell that us four legged humans are able to create. Third, and most important...always have a little brown spot somewhere on your nose hose! So now tell me, where does a collar come into any of this? NO WHERE! I would be more than happy to be naked all the time!
Now, I will say that I quite enjoy the pirate skulls, however, the pink Locoste Gators just aren't feeling like a very Mr. T-Bone Beasley like accessory. I mean, are the Gators wearing spikes? Uhhhhh nope!
Okay, so after my human put the very preppy puppy collar on me, I had to hide my face. I almost did not allow her to post this picture. But then, all of a sudden, I felt that I could totally rock the pink and green Gators! I mean, I make it look pretty manish, right?
So, yea...I think my black and tan fuzz definately make this collar look good. In fact, I even let my human take me to the dog park with this collar on! I was ready to show the world that I make pink and green gators look good! As soon as my human realized the dirtiness that is a dog park, the collar was pulled off my neck and went around her wrist. I don't know what she was thinking, that collar looked way better on my neck than it did on her wrist! Silly human!
O-well! In the next few day I will be able to model my other new collars! And believe you me!!! I'm gonna be H-O-T!
On a side note...my duck is bleeding...
I don't know what happened to him, but after I lost my tooth he was bleeding! Then I realized that his blood was all over me! All of a sudden a whole bunch of feelings and thoughts were rushing to my head, and that's when I realized that I killed my duck for reals this time. With a panic about me I took the duck to my human to show her that he was dead...and I even showed her that I was the one who did it, the one who killed the honkin'/fartin' duck. I placed my mouth around her wrist to show her the duck blood that still remained in my mouth. Oh man was I scared...I never killed any of my toys for real before. I was ready for a stern finger shaking in my face when all of a sudden my human cupped her hands around my fuzzy head and just loved me.
Then she got me lots of chewies with nobbly things, which felt oh so good on my new toothy coming in! Mmmmmm chewies! My human must have realized how bad I felt! She then told me that my duck was still alive, and that it was my blood all over the duck. I almost fainted when I heard that! I didn't know that I bleed! I bleed! We all bleed apparently, I thought we were all invinsible!
Does anyone know where my teeth are going? I think they are leaving me...but I need them in order to eat my chewies and all that is my puppy chow goodness! I hope they come back soon because with my sharp dagger tooth missing my tongue is flopping out on the one side of my mouth!
This is Mr. T-Bone Beasley signing out, reminding everyone that collars do not make the four legged human! The four legged human makes the collar!
Slurp!
Mr. T-Bone Beasley
Hello All! It is I...Mr. T-Bone Beasley! The Griffindales said they wanted to see me in my new "Woof" collar! So here it is guys! I wore it to the dog park and got lots of comments! Woohoo!
At my park there are tennis balls everywhere! So as a human threw a ball for their four legged human, I thought I would be the one to retrieve it first! I feel like the bright shining water is reflecting my heavenly presence, and the ear in the wind is for my aire-o-dynamics!
The other day my human caught me in the middle of a very intense dream. I kept moaning and whining, I guess. Every now and then I would wag my tail and move my paws all around...so says my human...but who knows if she speaks the truth...she also told me that I smelled bad today, thus I needed a bath. I begged to differ, I thought I smelled beyond glorious, so really she's a liar...
